Why is Christmas so hard?

Christmas used to be one of my favorite seasons, even considering colliding schedules and Norman Rockwell expectations in my head of how perfect I wanted it to be for my children. Somehow the busy-ness and last-minute panic baking and wrapping just made everything memorable for me.

That was when our children were young and we were invested in helping them develop memories of special family times. Christmas began to get hard for me the first year my husband and I were forced to celebrate Christmas alone because all of our children were grown and gone. Every sappy Hallmark commercial got me grabbing Kleenix because I felt the loss of those magical earlier years that cannot ever be recaptured.

Please don't feel sorry for me...I did plenty of that enough for myself! My husband and I attempted several solutions to the empty nest Christmas dilemma including hosting an open house for anyone we heard of who also might want people to hang out with. We made sure it was a joyful gathering, too--not a place for sorry sops to cry in our Christmas punch.

Through this process of filtering out my emotions, I've come to realize how easy it is to approach Christmas with a shallowness that disregards the deeper impact of needing and then being given a Savior. In my desperation for family activities, I too often overlooked the beauty of reflective quiet when pondering the baby who came out of love for me.

Even though I now am intentional about focusing my emotions on "the Gift," Christmas Eve is still bittersweet because those Hallmark commercials really are good.

What makes Christmas hard for you?

Posted on Friday, December 14, 2007 by Gloria Ruppel

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8 comments (Add your own)

1. Laurie wrote:: I think it's all about expectations. Even before we had children, I would get wrapped up in decorating everything just right, finding the perfect gift for each family member, and (much as I hate to admit it) even what to wear on Christmas day.

Now, with two little ones, the awe and wonder of it all, down to the last crinkled up bow on the tree, is what we're cherishing. However, the true meaning of Christmas is really what we make a conscious effort on which to focus for their impressionable, growing minds. As a result, it's really allowing us to do the same.

I'm just happy to know that my boys know that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, not the birth of Santa! The perfect gift for everyone IS Jesus. And those expectations...well, you know...with children...NOTHING truns out the way you expect it to...it's always better!

I'll let you know in 15-16 years how well we handle Christmas with an empty nest...
December 16, 2007 @ 11:35 PM
2. Lynne Barry wrote:: To me, what makes Christmas hard is that sense that everything has to be perfect -- even the "creation of memories" for the children. This past Sunday, when it was announced that Ruth was celebrating her 98th birthday, I started crying. I continued throughout the beautiful service! It wasn't necessarily a sad cry, more a sense of wonderment and a realization that THIS is truly Christmas! I feel so much stress from the crazy, hectic life I lead, and the added pressure of the perfect Christmas was just adding to that. But when you realize that the perfect Christmas was the FIRST Christmas....well, everything else seems to melt away!
December 17, 2007 @ 9:30 AM
3. Laurie j wrote:: I love Christmas. It brings back such good memories, which also makes it hard. Not having my Dad last year and this year has really been hard. He really enjoyed Christmas. He had spent Christmas Eve with us the last 6 or 7 years so he would be there in the morning when the kids woke up. He'd go to Christmas Eve service with us and usually go Christmas morning by himself.
December 17, 2007 @ 10:23 AM
4. wrote:: Christmas is hard for our family because both parents work jobs that involves more time, more deadlines and more end of the year projects compared to any other month of the year. It makes us very tired and stressed each year, even though we know it is the same every year. By New Years we always take a big sigh and thank God we got through it. However, the goal of Christmas time perfection always hits us in the face against our reality of hard work at this time. Just when we want to relax, visit more with friends and relatives, attend holiday events, have some quiet time, we cannot as much as we would like. Are there any other folks out there that have jobs that make you crazy during Christmas/year end time?
December 17, 2007 @ 11:20 AM
5. Ryan wrote:: Christmas is the most difficult time of the year for my wife and I. Every year it's the same. We are both exhausted and stressed. Then we have 1000 things to do for the "holidays". Sorry to be the Grinch here, but the last few years have been really rough and I actually do not enjoy this time of year much at all. I don't know if it has to do with my job, upbringing, selfishness or what, but it just does not work out for us. She cries and I get frustrated. Happy New Year!
December 22, 2007 @ 3:10 PM
6. waybe wrote:: My Christmas past. I have been alone for nealy all of 10 years on Christmas day, I have had to suffer a time of good will to every man and women too many times. I do love this time of year, however, like it is for many people, it brings as much sadness through the rememberance as it does happiness in the moments we are conitioned to enjoy.

I miss my girlfriend with a passion this year, she is far away in a land called America and I can honestly say I would prefer to have all 10 years past rolled in to one and live that forever each day than to be so far away from her, she is truely an angel.

I love the idea of Christmas, but I wonder why this time of the year makes it very nearly unbearable for the likes of me to be a good man. I hope that I have a Christmas with my love, I hope that a Christmas can bring me a life time with her. I hope the word hope is not just me living in hope too..... for now I will remember I am well and not in places less fortunate.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Wayne.
December 24, 2007 @ 4:28 PM
7. Desere wrote:: This is in reference to Wayne's thread.

I am sure if you experienced that much pain away from your girlfriend, then she too went through the same pain as well.

As for hope, well that is at times the only thing that we can hold onto when our lives are down and we have no where else to turn. It is good to have hope at this time, because it is "hope" that will see you through this hard time. Don't let go of it...it is your strength...along with faith that you will one day soon be back with your girlfriend and you following Christmas' will be the wonderful Christmas' you have longed for these past 10 years.

Keep your head up and know that your girlfriend loves you very much.

I wish you the best.

Desere
January 3, 2008 @ 9:23 PM
8. Gloria wrote:: Desere's comment is sincere and well-meaning yet even those encouraging words are empty if one's only hope is based on a "I hope so" view of life, rather than "my hope is the solid assurance that Christ provides all I need." If we see our significance and meaning in life based on being loved by a fallable human, we will always be disappointed. I believe that the only place I can turn for unconditional love and acceptance is Jesus Christ. I hear his words of love for me when I read the Bible--especially in the book of John, chapters 14 to 17. Talk about hope, even when life is hard!
January 7, 2008 @ 10:38 AM

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