Guilt

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - Gloria Ruppel

You've done it too--were rude, insensitive, thoughtless, or self-serving and now you feel lousy, especially since you know you hurt or alienated someone you care about.  What's next?  Ignore it and hope no one noticed?  That option works only if you are ok with setting up barriers around yourself, separating you from those you hurt, yourself, and God. 

Feeling lousy is God's way of getting our attention by feelings of conviction.  He wants us to become more like Him and less like our sinful selves. When I ignore the pangs of conscience, I only succeed in fooling myself that I really am fine and everyone else is the problem.  Not necessarily the best way to grow in self awareness and emotional maturity, however. 

Another option to face up to wrong-doing to to handle it the biblical way--go directly to the person you've hurt, fess up, and ask for their forgiveness.  If they are mature in their faith, they will forgive you and hopefully the relationship is restored.  Might there be consequences to pay?  Possibly, depending on what you did.  It might take time to regain trust or respect or some sort of retribution might be required.  But at least forgiveness has been granted.

So why is there still that insistent guilty feeling?  Another part of the equation is to go to God and ask for His forgiveness.  He's waiting for us to come clean with Him.  He is full of grace and loves when we are honest enough to bare our souls to Him--to have an attitude like this: "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?  Cleanse me from these hidden faults.  Keep me from deliberate sins!  Don't let them control me.  Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."  That's Psalm 19:12-13.

God promises that He will forgive us and then remove our sins as far as the east is from the west.  If that's true, why do so many people continue to beat themselves up over sins that have been confessed and forgiven?  You know the feeling--when you replay the incident, you are so shamed that you want to avoid your friends and actually consider moving where no one knows you.     

Is God sending those feelings of shame?  I'm thinking not.  True forgiveness is freedom, and the response to shame is being beat down.  If we are still feeling guilty after confessing and being forgiven, you are feeling  condemnation and it is not from God, but from satan.  Satan is trying to make us ineffective in our walk of faith by hoping we believe the lie that we are not worthy and will only mess up again. 

So, who are you going to believe, the God of grace and truth who chose to send Jesus to be our Savior from our sins, or the father of lies, satan?  What's in it for you when you hold on to false guilt?  How do you move on in freedom and confidence?

1 comment (Add your own)

1. alex the old wrote:
I read this blog entry with some interest, particularly since it brought to mind the line from "Love Story", i.e., "Love means never having to say you are sorry." I realize that the somewhat sappy line does not equal what you offer, but it does offer some insight into the way relationships develop and are maintained. In some ways, the relationship that one has with a spouse is reflective of the relationship with God. I always thought that the line was more a statement of commitment, that it promises forgiveness without reservation regardless of the offense. But, too often we think that we are undeserving of such love, and we seek punishment when we think it is due. That is, as I understand it, the sin of pride, of holding oneself to a higher standard than others. It is, again as I understand it, learning to love yourself as God does. With that comes the realization that His forgiveness is complete, as is His love.

To offer some explanation, I think of those days when one was young and there were teams to be chosen. It was always a thrill to be chosen "early" by one of the two competing teams, as indicative of sports prowess. Being chosen is a way of being special. We have been chosen by God for His love, and He loved us so much that He sent His Son to atone for our sins. We should realize that we are special to Him, but that is often not the case. We are as young children before this love, unable to comprehend it fully. We believe it, but in our world there is cost to everything, and surely sin leaves its mark on our souls. The concept of submission, of surrendering to His love and letting Him guide us, is one that is difficult to achieve, I believe. Certainly there is nothing to be gained from continuing to scourge ourselves for sin which is forgiven. But, to do so is fundamentally human, and it takes time and a mature relationship with God to understand what His love offers us. Should there be lingering guilt, it would seem appropriate to work on your understanding of Our Father's love.

July 7, 2008 @ 9:56 AM

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