St. Timothy Lutheran Church

A Father’s Day Tribute to Pastor R.G. Friedrichs

Those of you who know me know that Pastor RG (as most of our staff called him) died on May 29th after a long battle with bladder cancer that had returned and spread to his lower spine and his liver.  You also know that I knew him for 35 years as a pastor, mentor, father-in-law, and grandfather to my children. I learned many things about life from being around RG all these years.  What follows are some observations from a son who was blessed to have a great father-in-law for over 30 years.

RG was absolutely devoted to his wife Ruth, and she equally devoted to him.  They did almost everything together and were quite a team! After 53 years of marriage, they still held hands when they walked together. RG was a dad who was active in his children's lives, which was far different than many of the men of his generation. He played with his children, taught them, guided them, and provided a Godly example to them as they were growing up.  Roz and her siblings love to tell the stories of him tickling them before bedtime and then leaving Ruth to get 4 wired little kids to fall asleep. They remember with smiles the camping trips, the vacations, and the times they shared as family. RG made world famous breakfasts that were a legend, and I personally enjoyed dozens of them.  Ruth remembers that every pot, pan, and dish was stacked up in the sink!  As a dad, RG made time for every important event in his children's lives.  Roz still remembers that when she had the lead in the musical at her high school, RG and Ruth were at all four performances! RG didn’t speak openly about his feelings, but he demonstrated his love for his children every day in so many ways. He was also an active grandfather who cared deeply about every grandchild and found some way to let them know.  He and Ruth were together at almost every game, concert, and significant event in their grandkids lives.   

RG was a pastor who loved to tell people about Jesus and remind them of His love. As a visitation pastor here at St. Timothy, he faithfully visited 25-30 hospitalized and shut-in members every month.  He loved to preach and teach God’s Word.  Many of the members of St. Timothy loved attending his Lutheran doctrine class on Sunday mornings.  When RG asked a question, he wanted his students to know the RIGHT answer.  Close wasn’t good enough. You had to know the correct answer.  It got to be a game trying to figure exactly what answer he wanted, so many of the class members learned to sit next to Ruth who gave them the correct answers!  She had attended so often, she definitely knew ALL the answers.   

I have many more wonderful memories that can't begin to be written about on a keyboard, but God has taught me the most, not from the many good and great times, but from the most difficult times that RG endured in the last months of his life. In the last two months, our entire family watched RG battle with excruciating and unrelenting pain for hours at a time without relief.  I witnessed courage that few really have and too few of us ever lift up to be emulated.  It was very difficult to watch because we family members and friends felt so helpless.  Over time the morphine quit working and it was difficult for the doctors to find meds that would bring him relief. What God taught me to emulate is learning to find strength in God, not just when things are going well, but when things are extremely difficult.  

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 says, "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

What is the temptation common to man? Whenever we suffer or endure any hardship at all, the temptation is to question God's love, God's will, and God's goodness.  We say, "Why God is this happening to me?"  "Why God don't you love me?  Why God don't you answer my prayer?” The promise is that God is faithful, and will give us the strength to bear it.  I learned from RG the courage to trust in God’s faithfulness in the most difficult of times.  When the pain was the worst, RG never screamed, and NEVER questioned God.  He would cry quietly and talk to God.  He prayed over and over “Lord have mercy on me. He prayed for strength, and for courage to endure the pain.” He prayed for God to give him relief from the pain.  He prayed for God to help him quit crying, because he didn't want to cry.  He prayed over and over for God to bring him home if that was God's will.  When the pain got more intense, he found strength in praying the Scriptures over and over again.  We recited Psalm 23, 46, 103 (which was his favorite), Psalm 6, 130 and many others.  We sang How Great Thou Art, Beautiful Savior, Rock of Ages, I am Jesus’ Little Lamb,and many others.  When the pain remained intense for long periods of time, RG would pray and sing in German, which was the language of his youth.  One day he kept saying “Schlaft in Himmlische rue.”  In English it means “Sleep in heavenly peace” from the hymn Silent Night.

I saw RG find his strength in God as he cried out to Him.  I also saw Ruth find greater and greater strength in God every day as she sat at his bedside every day, 11-12 hours a day.  All of us found strength from the incredible support from the family at St. Timothy.  We felt the prayers, and we appreciated the visits, the cards, and words of encouragement from so many friends.  I saw again how God displays His faithfulness through individual members of the body of Christ

When God finally called him home before dawn on May 29, RG had been resting without pain for a number of days.  We family members took turns in a “round the clock” vigil at his bedside for his last days. My daughter who took the midnight to 6 a.m. shift was with him when he died.  She called at 5:55 a.m. and said that he had been resting peacefully during the night and that his breathing began to slow down. He finally took one big breath, exhaled, and was gone.  God answered his prayer and took RG home to heaven that morning.  Our family found such relief and comfort in that knowledge and in the faithfulness of Christ, and the fact that RG was home with his Savior and King!

We celebrated his life with a wonderful, uplifting service of worship and praise to our risen and victorious Savior, Jesus Christ, on Monday, June 2.  On the Saturday before he died, RG, Ruth, and I discussed his funeral service.  He wanted it to be upbeat, and have people dress in bright colors because he loved color. He said that for a Christian who hopes for heaven, death is just the end of life as we know it in this sinful world, and what awaits us is the glory of heaven with Christ!  "That's something to be joyful and happy about", he said.  We are truly joyful and happy even in our loss, because RG has received the reward that was purchased and won for him by Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection.  It’s what he spent a lifetime telling people about, and now he is home!

I was blessed to have RG as a father in my life, and I’m thankful to God for that gift.  I’ll remember to thank God again for that gift this Father’s Day.  I’ll also remember to give thanks to my Heavenly Father, who promises to give me that same strength every day, but especially on the day(s) that I will need it.  I’ll remember, above all, that God is faithful!