Often I find myself congratulating God on His handiwork.  "Wow!  You must have worked on that all day!"  or "This time I think you've really outdone Yourself!"

Until this morning.  The sky simply lightened with the approaching sun and the attending clouds just went from pale yellow to beige.  No pizzaz, no brilliance, and no congratulations from me.

Do you ever find yourself rating God like that?  If you recognize His hand of blessing in your life as spectacular, then He has outdone Himself.  Peace in your home, full freezer, steady work, closet with clothes that are wearable...all are signs that life is good.  And He rates high marks.

But how do you respond when life isn't quite as full and overflowing in your estimation?  A boring sunrise, problems on the horizon, life not turning out up to expectation.  Is God just not performing up to standards...YOUR standards?

Do you think this attitude is a problem?  It's one thing to glorify God for His handiwork and generosity, but quite another to set yourself as a judge over how well He performs for human approval.  Let me know when you lean periously close to rating God's handling of the universe.  Do you see it as dangerous?  If not, why?

About 2 months ago I spent the better part of a Saturday in cleaning out the front, filling 4 large bags with yard waste.  The pristine appearance was entirely pleasing to me as I relaxed on our front porch after the work was completed. 

That night it rained, covering my clean beds with a fresh layer of pinecones and needles.  And then 3 days later up popped a new crop of weeds.  There went my potential yard of the month recognitiion.

Don't you find this happens with your life?  Spend a decent amount of effort in eliminating bad habits and unattractive attitudes and think you're set.  In no time they're back, making you think that you have no control over yourself at all.  Actually, you're right.  Without the strength from the Holy Spirit, you are fighting an uphill losing battle. 

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. (Romans 8:26-27)

No, you can't blame God for your failings.  You have ownership in how you choose to act, but to act independently from God is foolish.  God has already promised His help and is waiting for you to tap in to His strength and wisdom.

Keeping flowerbeds trimmed and weeded is an ongoing process, much like keeping bad habits and attitudes under control.  Maybe you'll find a "Heart of the Month" sign waiting for you in heaven, if you're humble enough to ask for help.

August 18, 1983.  Hurricane Alicia was heading towards Houston and I was terrified.  We had just moved into a lovely neighborhood with lots of trees.  Our house was on a small lot but we still had room for 3 pecan trees, a dogwood, and a great Arizona Ash which towered over our one-story.  We had done the necessary precautions, so when the winds began to pick up, I was feeling fairly confident that all would be well.

My children had been warned about staying away from the windows, but that didn't stop me from roaming from window to window to check on the status of the howling winds.  Our pecan trees were loaded with a bumper crop, so our home was being pelted, sounding like buckshot against the windows.  When our dogwood was blown over, my anxiety began to rise.  These winds were really serious!

Tornadoes were being reported across the city and many downtown hi-rises had windows blown out, shattering over the streets.  Then we lost electricity.  Would our roof hold?  Would a tree land on us?  Would my family be spared?

Then I saw it.  In the crook of 2 large tree branches in our front yard Ash was a sparrow, singing for all it was worth.  He didn't appear to be worried, and actually seemed to be enjoying the show.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

During the rest of the storm we played Uno by candlelight.  It was quite an adventure.

However, I've realized that I seem to be less attentive to the person on the other end of the phone when I'm reading emails.  And eating an ice cream cone is much less satisfying if I'm driving at the same time.  Or trying to have a meaningful conversation during commercials is pretty much impossible.

Which got me to thinking about praying.  Have you ever used your drive time for your daily prayer time?  Not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with it, but I wonder if God ever feels shortchanged in the exchange.  If my mind needs to be focused on the road, my prayers tend to be "Oh yeah, and something else..." rather than intentional time with my Creator.  

If prayer at its best is a conversation between two parties who have a deep and committed relationship of love, then it seems that a drivetime snippet is far unworthy a manner of communicating.  In order to listen, I need to focus on one thing and one thing only.   

Maybe multi-tasking is why so many believers say they never can hear God speaking to them.

* discovering pictures in clouds

* smelling a baby's neck after he/she has been bathed

* having all the laundry folded and put away before any dirty clothes hit the hamper

* the smell of morning coffee

* visiting on our front porch with friends and family

* laughing so hard that tears come

* knowing Bible passages by memory

* cereal for supper

And so I began a pattern of behavior that was intentional about noticing insignificant everyday happenings that were God's way of blessing me.  All I had to do was open my eyes.

My mom recently told me that as a bedtime practice, Dad used to list all the things from that day that he thanked God for.  He said that he always fell asleep before he finished his list, and was at peace knowing that prayers of thanks were on his mind at the end of each day.

My list is now up to 4 pages, and I continue to add to it. What would be on yours? 

Years ago I had a friend who was involved in a serious auto accident.  She suffered head trauma and other painful injuries.  When I visited her in the hospital, she was conscious, though not completely lucid.  Though she had always been kind and gracious, I didn't expect to experience what I did in our visit.  Wanting to make her comfortable, I asked if she would like a sip of water.  "No," she replied, "but would you care for some?"

Because she had established a pattern of gracious behavior in her conscious state, that's what came through in her befuddled state of mind in spite of severe pain.  That experience, coupled with seeing my friends' elderly parents navigating through the losses of aging made me all the more conscious of what kind of person I am allowing myself to be NOW.

If I am routinely impatient, rude, or critical when I am relatively healthy and self-sufficient, what makes me think I will be the kind of person my grandchildren will want to visit when I am in failing health? 

What will sprout from seeds I'm planting now?  Will anyone be able to tell I have been following Christ and desiring to be more like Him?

It made me think of places in our lives that we store stuff we don't want out in the open.  Somehow it seems like the "out of sight, out of mind" approach to painful or shameful memories should work, except you know deep down that there will come a time when you'll be faced with dealing with the ugly unpleasant part of your life.  Maybe you were at the receiving end of abuse or rejection, or your behavior damaged relationships.  And then you tried to ignore it, stuffing under the sink while life continued on.  But it's still down there.

I knew I couldn't ignore the leak under the sink.  Knowing that I was going to have to put my entire upper body under there to replace the existing faucet was enough to make sure I got all the hidden items out in the open, praying that I would be strong enough to face whatever was waiting for me.   Armed with a flashlight and Lysol, I did a thorough job in getting everything out and then wiping down the interior of the cabinet.  Nasty, time-consuming work, but entirely worth it.  Now, we not only are sporting a new faucet, but a clean sink cabinet.

What's holding you back from cleaning out your scary places?  You don't have to go it alone.  Be assured that God knows what's hiding under there and has promised to be with you.  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)   

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."
Michelangelo

Sometimes I feel like God is chiseling away my imperfections in order to set free the person He created me to be.  At times I've felt the big chunks fall off and other times it's just sandpapering the rough edges.  Ultimately, everytime I came face to face with my faults and intentionally work at improving those areas of my life that are less than ideal, I have to feel the temporary discomfort of God molding me into His image.

Humbling, but true.  Without His chisel, I'm just a unfinished masterpiece. 

How and when have you felt the chisel of the Artist?

Don't most of us try this at least once in our life? 

I don't have to exercise...

What and where I spend time on the web is my business, and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone...

Taking supplies home from the office isn't really stealing.  They have so much and will never miss it anyway...

My (husband/wife) is being completely unreasonable about my friendship with _____.  We're just really good friends and I can talk with (him/her) about anything...

I really need a new pair of shoes.  Well, maybe not need, but I certainly deserve them.  Just a little extra on my credit card after a month of cutting back is a reasonable expense...

See how easy it is to talk yourself into choices that seem like freedom?  Trouble is, there is no such thing as complete freedom.  Compromising on areas that we've made gray from black and white only brings us closer to the edge of bad behavior.  

Will there be a price to pay?  Sure.  Always.  Because Newton's Law of Physics ("For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction") applies to life as well.  Some consequences are bigger than others.  That "harmless" friendship with a friend of the opposite sex may result in a marriage in jeopardy.  That is obviously bigger than a few pinches around the middle from overindulging, yet too often we try to convince ourselves into thinking we'll get away with it.

Enter the answer, unpleasant though it may feel:  DISCIPLINE.  Have you ever felt the victory of telling yourself "no" and then making yourself obey?  And the more you succeed in listening to wisdom and restraint, the more you increase actual freedom.  Boundaries give us safety that complete abandon cannot.

I've learned a great deal from reading the book of Proverbs in the Bible.  Since there are 31 chapters in Proverbs, I just look which day of the month I'm on and read that chapter.  How's this for wisdom:  "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." 

Where do you find it most difficult to tell yourself "no"?  What consequences have taught you the benefit of being disciplined?

Feeling lousy is God's way of getting our attention by feelings of conviction.  He wants us to become more like Him and less like our sinful selves. When I ignore the pangs of conscience, I only succeed in fooling myself that I really am fine and everyone else is the problem.  Not necessarily the best way to grow in self awareness and emotional maturity, however. 

Another option to face up to wrong-doing to to handle it the biblical way--go directly to the person you've hurt, fess up, and ask for their forgiveness.  If they are mature in their faith, they will forgive you and hopefully the relationship is restored.  Might there be consequences to pay?  Possibly, depending on what you did.  It might take time to regain trust or respect or some sort of retribution might be required.  But at least forgiveness has been granted.

So why is there still that insistent guilty feeling?  Another part of the equation is to go to God and ask for His forgiveness.  He's waiting for us to come clean with Him.  He is full of grace and loves when we are honest enough to bare our souls to Him--to have an attitude like this: "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?  Cleanse me from these hidden faults.  Keep me from deliberate sins!  Don't let them control me.  Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."  That's Psalm 19:12-13.

God promises that He will forgive us and then remove our sins as far as the east is from the west.  If that's true, why do so many people continue to beat themselves up over sins that have been confessed and forgiven?  You know the feeling--when you replay the incident, you are so shamed that you want to avoid your friends and actually consider moving where no one knows you.     

Is God sending those feelings of shame?  I'm thinking not.  True forgiveness is freedom, and the response to shame is being beat down.  If we are still feeling guilty after confessing and being forgiven, you are feeling  condemnation and it is not from God, but from satan.  Satan is trying to make us ineffective in our walk of faith by hoping we believe the lie that we are not worthy and will only mess up again. 

So, who are you going to believe, the God of grace and truth who chose to send Jesus to be our Savior from our sins, or the father of lies, satan?  What's in it for you when you hold on to false guilt?  How do you move on in freedom and confidence?

Who really benefits from a trip such as ours?  The townspeople who receive a continual supply of fresh water are obvious recipients.  The schoolchildren who participated in the hygiene classes on germ transmission and effective handwashing procedures are others.  So, too, are the village women who learned about how to provide for their babies who suffer dehydration caused by diarrhea from unclean water. 

At the risk of sounding selfish and self-serving, I believe the greatest recipients are those who serve on the team by drilling and teaching.  Our lives in the US are so often consumed with getting and keeping.  I found it humbling and inspiring to work alongside and serve people whose lives haven't gotten cluttered with the preponderance of material items, who live closer to the earth with simpler needs, who find joy in sitting in the shade with friends to laugh and tell stories.

I returned with a renewed understanding of how shallow and purposeless a comfort-filled life can become.  I was also encouraged by working alongside brothers and sisters in the faith who shared a desire to serve.  

What changes occur in your heart when you are generous with yourself or your possessions?  Do you experience a different kind of satisfaction when you serve outside of your comfort zone?  Or maybe you haven't yet been generous--why not?

So, what does this have to do with funerals?  Yesterday I attended a funeral of a much loved and respected pastor from our church.  Though he was 80 if you count years, he was much younger in his approach to life.  He loved his Lord and Savior, his family, and the life he was given.  His delight in sharing stories and puzzles was contagious, and you were drawn in to enjoying whatever humor he passed on, no matter how corny.  Cancer claimed his earthly life, but not his soul.

The funeral service was something to behold--it was filled with people whose lives had been touched by this man's ministry, uplifting music and singing that shook the rafters, visiting and shared stories, and the meal afterwards that reminded me of heaven's banquet.  It was a true joyous celebration that was made possible because he was prepared for his trip.

His was a lifetime of knowing that his journey was bound for heaven.  He didn't scramble at the last minute to make sure he was right with his Savior--that had been part of his assurance over many years of living through the easy and the hard times.  Even when he was wracked with pain the past months, his faith in Jesus was his lifeline.  You couldn't help but know that something of substance was holding this man up and sustaining him.. You couldn't help but know that his family could face his death with peace, even though he would be missed deeply. Even in his dying hours, the knowledge that Jesus loved him gave him a peace beyond human understanding.  He knew he was going to heaven, and his faith was all he needed.

I'm thinking about my mission trip again.  I have my passport, which is all I need to get in the country.  I think I can get back to sleep again.

Something has changed me in the past 4 months.  There is a goal that I hope to achieve sometime in my life which will take focus to achieve.  This dream has kept me awake nights, gotten me to order books on the topic, and even begin the small steps of training.  And I'm letting my hair grow long enough to pull up in a ponytail.

I want to walk the Appalachian Trail.  2,174 miles.  All of them.  In one season.  And, no, I don't know how to camp or even hike long distances.  But I'm eager to learn. 

And so I've begun to take long walks several times a week, searching out inclines that might approximate the Appalachian Mountains. In Houston that means stadium bleachers. I've bought hiking boots and socks that "wick" (new term for me that makes me feel like I'm part of the hiking crowd).  And a sympathetic soul loaned me an external frame backpack to practice with. 

Not a day goes by that this dream doesn't encroach on my consciousness...How will I handle going without cookies for an extended period of time?  Will I be able to sleep comfortably in a sleeping bag and a tent?  Are the bears and poisonous snakes a great enough threat to make me abandon this dream? Not showering daily...need I say more? 

Yet with all of these questions, my enthusiasm for this dream only increases.  I am determined, yes, FOCUSED on achieving this goal some time in my earthly life, despite friends and family (and a very unwilling husband who is being dragged along) who think that this dream is a bit far-fetched.

What if I lived my faith life with such passion?  What if every day I woke up with the same intensity to honor my Lord as I do to get ready for walking the AT (another insider term for the Appalachian Trail)?  What if I were as willing to experience the inconveniences and discomforts of living a sacrificial life as I am to hike in the woods for 6 months? 

Would others see a difference in me?

That was when our children were young and we were invested in helping them develop memories of special family times.  Christmas began to get hard for me the first year my husband and I were forced to celebrate Christmas alone because all of our children were grown and gone.  Every sappy Hallmark commercial got me grabbing Kleenix because I felt the loss of those magical earlier years that cannot ever be recaptured.

Please don't feel sorry for me...I did plenty of that enough for myself!  My husband and I attempted several solutions to the empty nest Christmas dilemma including hosting an open house for anyone we heard of who also might want people to hang out with.  We made sure it was a joyful gathering, too--not a place for sorry sops to cry in our Christmas punch.

Through this process of filtering out my emotions, I've come to realize how easy it is to approach Christmas with a shallowness that disregards the deeper impact of needing and then being given a Savior.  In my desperation for family activities, I too often overlooked the beauty of reflective quiet when pondering the baby who came out of love for me.

Even though I now am intentional about focusing my emotions on "the Gift," Christmas Eve is still bittersweet because those Hallmark commercials really are good.

What makes Christmas hard for you?

It occurred to me that the purpose of phones is to increase communication and ultimately to help build relationships.  However, is there a possibility that the device has actually interfered with face to face intimacy?  Do chatting and texting replace seeing into a person's soul or hearing their heartcry?  When time is invested in personal browsing or entertainment for one, what is left over for real people?

Technology advances fascinate me in their possibilities to improve the quality of life.  I see true quality in knowing and being known for who we are with guards down.  My relationship with Jesus is like that.  He has intimate knowledge of my emotions, my achievements and my failures...and still loves me.  That is how I approach my connections to others and somehow the latest and greatest in telecommunications loses the closeness value of spending time hearing someone's voice and seeing what their eyes tell me apart from their words. 

If you regularly communicate by texting or chatting, how do you see into the heart?